My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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