Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
