just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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