Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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