You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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