wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
