I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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