Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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