I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Randomize
