i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
