Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
