just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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