you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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