apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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