R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
