I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
