If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
