I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
