Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
