someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize