6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
