Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
