I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
