I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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