ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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