He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
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I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
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I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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