i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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