11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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