My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize