omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
