you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Small penises have feelings too.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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