The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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