I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
