If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
