He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
