Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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