The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize