i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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