I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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