She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Enjoy the penises
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
