Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
