I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
