I just threw up on my dentist
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
