Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
