I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
No...this little piggys going to the bar
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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