My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
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