Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
