What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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