May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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