If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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