If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
i think my cat just said my name.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
