he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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