Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
