There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
