Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
