Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
